drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
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