so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
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Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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