I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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