dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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