I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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