Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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