At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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