I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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