what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
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Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize