everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize