Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
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It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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