Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
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In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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