guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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