No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize