I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize