im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
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