i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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