Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
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They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
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As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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