you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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