But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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