Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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