I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My bed smells like the plague
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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