Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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