I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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