You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize