remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize