Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
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I feel a five day drunk coming on.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
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Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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