Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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