The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
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I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
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He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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