Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize