I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize