Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
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I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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