Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sorry about my life...
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