she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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