Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize