Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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