I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Porn is love you can see.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
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this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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