You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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