Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
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Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
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IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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