after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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