I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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