The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize