Plan B is the new Plan A
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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