I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
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I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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