So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
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So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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