I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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