His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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