i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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