Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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