We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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